Plus, Chris Sarandon totally sexes up a couple of girls. That isn't the sort of thing relegated to a season or period of time. It's always in style.
When I first heard talk of a remake at a convention in 2008 (I was a giddy audience member for this panel discussion) I went through a spectrum of emotions. Initially, they were all negative. Then a couple of years later I learned of the casting choices for the remake and I became confused. Then I watched some movie with Colin Farrell and my confusion reached never before seen levels. This was followed by reserved acceptance and finally excitement laced with a nervous undercurrent of holy shit, what are they doing to my favorite movie?
They did very little with it as it turns out. There is no reason to call Friday's release "Fright Night". If there was even an inkling of integrity in Hollywood, and there is not, they would have titled it "Colin Farrell Is An Inhumanly Sexy Vampire Who Doesn't Sex Up Even One Girl In 106 Minutes of Film Reel".
I was there opening night like a complete sucker with my 3D glasses in hand, a giant flower in my hair and my spicy desi man in tow. It should have been a thrilling date night culminating in hours of sexy sex after the crazy build up of libidinous tension that permeated the original movie.
It was not.
Colin Farrell made a delectable as all hell vampire. He was pleasing to watch for this reason alone but the powers that be didn't do anything with it. There is so much they could have done with that. If they'd let me take a stab at it, there is much I could do with Mr. Farrell's raw materials regardless of if there are cameras rolling.... but I digress. They did not capitalize on this and that should be criminal.
Chris Sarandon created the quintessential sexy vampire in Jerry Dandridge. Well, for me anyway. This does not negate the come hitherness of other celluloid vamps as there are so many relevant versions of the sexy (and on the flipside: repugnant) vampire. It merely diminishes it. For me, Edward, Lestat and the fraternity of The Lost Boys are lacking. They do not define this creature. Chris Sarandon defined him in the original Fright Night and his portrayal has yet to be matched.
Is it even possible for a breathing heterosexual woman to watch this scene and not feel even a slight tingling in the nether regions?
No, it is not.
The 1985 movie was masterful in that it was almost entirely about sex yet it contained no actual sex.
Aside from this mammoth hole in the plot fabric, it was the biggest waste of an awesome bunch of thespians I have ever seen in my life.
Charlie Brewster (Anton Yelchin) wasn't very endearing or likeable which is a monumental disconnect from the original. Christopher Mintz-Plasse is a better actor than he is given credit for though his Evil Ed was a totally different animal from Stephen Geoffrey's. Amy Peterson, aka: the naive and virginal girlfriend of Charlie (Imogen Poots) was neither. Toni Collette is like one of the top 5 coolest women on the planet and they gave her absolutely nothing to do as Mrs. Brewster. Charlie's mother didn't do much in the original but then, she was't freaking Toni Collette. You don't stick Toni Collette in a movie and not utilize her supreme acting abilities. That's really uncool.
Billy Cole/Renfield is completely absent from the whole movie. I do not know why.
David Tennant was, well, awesome as Peter Vincent. He may be a Scottish weasel according to Noel Fielding, but nobody does Scottish weasel like David Tennant. He isn't my Peter Vincent but he fashioned a highly entertaining character with the same name in spite of the script.
Well done, Mr. Tennant.
It's a crying shame they couldn't give him (or anyone) a halfway decent script with which to springboard some new-ish/old-ish characters in any truly memorable way.
The remake does contain one moment of near brilliance involving Chris Sarandon.
Yeah, that got a totally audible squee from yours truly in the theater. Can I define "shame", you ask? No, I cannot.
If the whole movie had been made with the same spirit as Chris Sarandon's cameo, it would have been a million different kinds of awesome. On it's own, Fright Night (2011) is a mediocre horror/comedy. Compared to the original comedy/horror Fright Night (1985), it's a bitch slap.
At least I have my memorabilia.
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| It's real. Chris Sarandon signed this for me as I stood there like a mentally deficient mute staring into the face of Pan. |
Chris Sarandon is Greek. For real.
Because I cannot go anywhere or do anything without some sort of weirdness ensuing, this wooden stake was sitting by my front tire in the parking lot after exiting the movie theater Friday night.
I'm keeping the stake. Forever.
I may use it on myself when the remake of The Neverending Story hits theaters in 2014.
OMG... they're remaking The Neverending Story?? Wow. I just can't imagine. I hope they keep the feeling and not just jump on the "we can do so much with CGI now, there is no need for characters, feeling or plot.
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